really bad weather in my temporary head

I think if I had to choose a word to describe this semester, it would be fragmented. I’ve really found it hard to settle into a decent working routine, instead having days when I just sit down and go, and then days when I completely fail to do anything. I switch between feeling rather happy and content to feeling fairly miserable and uneasy, seemingly at random. I’ve had this big cloud of anxiety hanging over me all semester, like butterflies in your stomach but all the time, and I can’t pin down why. I mean, the good times come as often – if not more – as the bad, but it’s really frustrating me that some days I’m feeling great, and then others I’m just lethargic and emo. I guess my feelings have been like Wigan’s form this season – all over the place, and wildly inconsistent. Which begs the question, just who am I going to lose 9-1 to?

That said, I’m in a good phase right now – there’s a lot of satisfaction that comes from, well, finishing your dissertation. My first draft’s due in on Friday, and I pulled a real shift yesterday in the IC, turning flapjacks and coffee into the final product.  I still have to LaTeX a fair bit of it, including half of the commutative diagrams (they are a pain), and obviously there’s still work to do (it’s only a draft), but I’m over the hill, so to speak. It’s a huge weight off my mind, and really quite exciting.

My housemates thought it would be hilarious to hide in my room and scare me when I went to bed last night. Looking back, I suppose it was kinda funny, but still. I will now spend the next week too afraid to enter my room.


2 Responses to “really bad weather in my temporary head”

  1. 1 hesternal November 26, 2009 at 3:25 am

    I think life’s quite an extreme sport, actually. Especially at uni, where there’s always work stress (yours and other people’s) and independence and other such sources of extreme ups and downs. I realise I’ve been very spoilt, being in an easy-going relationship all this time; only this term have I actually understood why people sometimes tell me they’re glad to get home at the end of term.

    Did you catch motd’s description of Wigan to ‘football’s equivalent of a bag of Revels’? made me laugh. congrats on the dissertation success, too, I’ve got miles to go yet. xxx

    • 2 rootpot November 28, 2009 at 1:39 pm

      I know we’ve had the “you should watch MotD regardless of your teams performance” discussion already, but I just couldn’t bring myself to watch it last Sunday. I do like the analogy, though! Spurs right now seem to be a pack of wine gums but with all the black and yellow ones taken out.

      Ah, thanks, and gl with yours! Now that NaWaYoTiMo is nearly over, you should be able to motor through it, right? xxx

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